Happiness is not omnipresent,
it often comes in dribs and drabs…
but it always comes.
And, I like it like that,
because to be happy always
is not possible if one lives a lived-in life.
Success crowns effort, right?
Today, I am engulfed by happiness.
The unknown of tomorrows can go fuck themselves.
I have you,
And you have altered my state.

I’m bored with the black and white thing. I’m sore in all the best ways. I’m tentative. I’m delirious. I’m falling, not so slowly. I’m ignoring the cat as she rubs against my legs. I’m getting a divorce, it’s on my list of things to do today. I’m sad that I can be so flip [...]

I like my own breasts a bit too much.
I smoke other people’s cigarettes at the drop of a hat.

“Well, think about it, you are the epitome of normal, compared to you, everyone is fucked up!”
“Well yes, obviously. I’m totally normal!”
…
“Apart from your irrational fear of flying.”
“Ah yes, there is that.”
“Oooh, and your panic attacks.”
“Those too.”
“And your fear of commitment.”
“Yes. And I do rather like anchovies.”
“And you’re sarcastic on a level and frequency that [...]

If you know a man is prone to crying, and you don’t like that,
Break up with him in public, over a good beer,
After 18 holes of golf (for which he has paid).
It quells the tear-show.
And the guilt you will feel will be much diminished.
As the butterflies flit behind him and the hot sun browns your [...]

Leave me alone.
Stop! Don’t say a word.
I don’t give a toss that you:
think I’m beautiful;
think I have a great smile;
like my mind;
really enjoy my company;
<insert compliment here>.
Really, I don’t.
I want to be alone.
Go away.
I’m so over you, and you, and you, and you too!
Just go a-fucking-way.

I wish you could walk with me past the gardens of Frangipani and Callistemon to the beach. I wish you could breathe in with me the salt-laden, sea-fresh air. I wish you could run with me along the beach, so your heart beats fast, and your sleep-slug blood turns ruby-red. I wish you could sit-wait [...]

The bottlebrush, so tempting in the afternoon sun-glow. Lean out, just a little, over rail, on tiptoe, don’t look down, cold hand into sun, warm tingle; this is feeling.
Fingers, arm, toes, calves, back, reach-stretch. Eyes drop, momentarily, instant vertigo rush; this is feeling.
Palm touches sun-kissed leaves, they are soft-spiky and warm. Sun reddened stamens elude [...]

I had a nectarine: sweet, juicy, ripe. I left in the fruit-bowl for too long and it rotted from the inside; I had to shake the disease.
I stopped eating fruit, took up vegetables, kumera, zucchini, carrot, after carrot. Vegetables are boring, vegetables are dull, a vegetable diet is unbalanced self-denial, you just can’t get enough.
I [...]