I’m bored with the black and white thing. I’m sore in all the best ways. I’m tentative. I’m delirious. I’m falling, not so slowly. I’m ignoring the cat as she rubs against my legs. I’m getting a divorce, it’s on my list of things to do today. I’m sad that I can be so flip [...]

“Well, think about it, you are the epitome of normal, compared to you, everyone is fucked up!”
“Well yes, obviously. I’m totally normal!”
…
“Apart from your irrational fear of flying.”
“Ah yes, there is that.”
“Oooh, and your panic attacks.”
“Those too.”
“And your fear of commitment.”
“Yes. And I do rather like anchovies.”
“And you’re sarcastic on a level and frequency that [...]

If you know a man is prone to crying, and you don’t like that,
Break up with him in public, over a good beer,
After 18 holes of golf (for which he has paid).
It quells the tear-show.
And the guilt you will feel will be much diminished.
As the butterflies flit behind him and the hot sun browns your [...]

Leave me alone.
Stop! Don’t say a word.
I don’t give a toss that you:
think I’m beautiful;
think I have a great smile;
like my mind;
really enjoy my company;
<insert compliment here>.
Really, I don’t.
I want to be alone.
Go away.
I’m so over you, and you, and you, and you too!
Just go a-fucking-way.