Phobos and Deimos

18Feb08

I fell downstairs and ate my shoe, the tongue, hard to swallow, repeated on me, churning my stomach as it spewed its malefic opinions,

“Red is not your colour! Everybody hates you! You can’t do your job! You look like a fool! And, everybody knows you’re an alien!”

I ate the second shoe (minus the tongue, which I salted (threw pinch over left shoulder) and fed to the cat) to silence the first, it protested only mildly as I chewed, the leather working its way between my teeth. To be honest, those shoes were worn and no longer comfortable, and far too knowledgeable for my liking. Oh yes, they knew too much alright.

Now, now, now…where is that minted floss?


Filed under: nonsense, silliness   |  

12 Responses to “Phobos and Deimos”  

Feed for this Entry Trackback Address
  1. 1 oe on February 18, 2008 said:

    But the second show tongue told the cat. Of where you stood, and where you sat. Now kitty has a taste for news; watch out for your other shoes.

  2. 2 Corina on February 18, 2008 said:

    I hate smart shoes!

    I liked that the “tongue was hard to swallow”.

  3. 3 An Unreliable Witness on February 18, 2008 said:

    Wonderful post. Sadly, all I can think of in response are dreadful shoe puns, so I won’t bother.

  4. 4 isabelle on February 18, 2008 said:

    oh yes, that made me laugh and shudder…..

    and besides, I think barefoot suits you best ….. x

  5. 5 amuirin on February 19, 2008 said:

    the breakfast of champions…

  6. 6 LazyBuddhist on February 19, 2008 said:

    I echo Unreliable Witness - wonderful post, and while I am trying dreadfully hard to come up with something witty myself, I will simply walk away with a smile on my face and be grateful for you and your wonderful words and pictures.

  7. 7 mad on February 19, 2008 said:

    That happens to me too. Everytime I drop acid.

  8. 8 clarissa on February 20, 2008 said:

    I ate smart shoes!

    But I love a smart you! You are clever!

  9. 9 Ariel on February 21, 2008 said:

    Hmm, well-worn shoes with soft sole… I find the eyelets too crunchy and the laces too stringy though.

  10. 10 Lisa Y on February 21, 2008 said:

    The question is, does the shoe taste good? Hehe. Nice one …. :D

  11. 11 hawntid on February 22, 2008 said:

    I often have a shoe in my mouth, sometimes both, unfortuneately my feet are still in them. Try not to picture a person butt hopping around because he doesn’t know when to keep his mouth shut.

    H.

  12. 12 belongum on February 25, 2008 said:

    I seem to be in this place often… I always have both feet (fully ’shod’ mind you), firmly wedged inside my mouth!

    Just ask the XO… she’s the one wot cause this phenomenon to happen in this household! lol

    ;-)

Leave a Reply