If pain persists
Truth is, I don’t sleep much. I woke, after two hours sleep, to that blackness where you have no visual sense of self, but your mind is expansive.
But the supposed unbounded blackness was not in fact limitless, and soon enough, a wave of nausea swept over me as the first flashes registered in my cortex.
Lie still and wait, maybe it was a false perception, I’m big on those of late. But no, the darkness is interspersed with zig-zagging, bright-so-it-hurts, light, always moving to places unknown, on the fringe of visual sense.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”
But, sadly, that does not help. Time passes. Tick, tock, tick, tock, I need a new biological clock.
Eyes open, eyes closed, still the light zigs and the light zags.
Zigs.
Zags.
Zigs.
Zigs.
Zigs.
Zigs and fucking zags, making a mockery of my attempt at an early night.
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2 Responses to “If pain persists”
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And the time, it too zigs and zags, ever so slowly. Zigging every second to its boundary and then zagging the same with the next. It never ceases to amaze me how time can stretch like that to make minutes feel like days and hours feel like weeks.
If you’re not speaking purely metaphorically here (and if so, as always, you do so beautifully) this sounds like a condition called ocular migraines. The boyfriend gets them from time to time. He calls them Indian blanket attacks as it reminds him of patterns on Indian (as in Native American) blankets. Apparently there isn’t a bloody thing you can do about them.