It’s moments like these you need Minties

Sea Urchin

At the precise moment I clicked this photo, I remember thinking,

“Yeah, things are not going too badly, it all might work out.”

Snap.

A walk along the sand, onto cement, laughing, a few minutes of happiness, just me and them, where nothing and no one else mattered. Then we met him on the pavement; a change in demeanor, a cold look in his eyes.

And it was all,

“Where have you been?” and changes of plans and coldness. And finally, it’s up to me to drag out of him just what the fuck was going on.

And so then I knew, at the precise moment I clicked this photo, I had been deluding myself.

7 Comments

  1. Eeek… so you put the photo up so it can serve as a reminder? That is harsh on yourself I think.

  2. Go easy!!

  3. If it’s any consolation, I’m sure it probably isn’t but, it is a lovely photo.

    And I think it shouldn’t remind you of dissapointment but of hope, that those moments of calm and optimism do exist. Fragile as this urchin they may be, they do exist.

  4. Man. Sometimes you’re the most intense person I know. Or sort of know. Or however the fuck we know people on blogs.

    • lillipilli
    • Posted November 1, 2007 at 6:18 am
    • Permalink

    I was going to put this photo up on it’s own, no words. But, before I hit publish, the words came.

    I don’t think it’s harsh, I find it therapeutic getting words like these out of my head.

    I like the photo, I can look at it and not fear being reminded of how I felt and what happened on that day. It is more of a reminder to me to be brave and own up to the feelings I have in the pit of my stomach. I had been deluding myself, not because I thought things would work out, but rather because I knew I was not doing all I could to make it work out…as I did not really want it to.

  6. I’m glad you put the words up with it, too. Adds another dimension to see the context.

    I’ve felt that, having cozy, light-hearted fun with a couple people and then another consciousness invades and seems to make you go heavy again, sucks all the joy out of the scene
    on a molecular level.

    Amazing shell. Looks like a thousand tiny shells built together in a mosaic.

  7. I see a lot of truth in both the photo and the words. The beauty of that shell in all its intricacy juxtaposed with the reality of a relationship that simply is not working out. We can hold both truths - the ugly and the beautiful - simultaneously.

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